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For the past two years, Kit Kat bars have been pissing me off. If you’ve been paying attention to the radio during your morning commute, you’ve more than likely heard a Kit Kat commercial or two. For me, that’s one or two too many. I turn my radio off when they come on…a bit excessive maybe, but I can’t help it…their current marketing plan, though apparently effective (which depresses me) makes me cringe and I’d rather listen to silence than listen to their crappy commercials again.

For those of you who haven’t heard the commercials, the basic premise of them is this:
“HAY GUYS! YOU KNOW WHAT’S AWESOME!? KIT KATS WITH YOUR COFFEE! THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER! NO SERIOUSLY! BUY KIT KATS WITH YOUR COFFEE! KIT KATS COFFEE COFFEEKITKATSGIMMEABREAKCOFFEEKITKATSBESTFRIENDS!!!!!”

here's a link to one of the actual commercials...
http://www.hersheys.com/cstore/consumer-promotions/kit-kat-coffee-bundle/HUKK-8533-Donut-Shop-30.MP3

Each commercial has some stupid scenario where somebody says something along the lines of “you know what you should do…you should get rid of your pastry chef and install a Kit Kat vending machine because Kit Kats go great with coffee!!”

Then there will be some sort of rebuttal like “but we’re a bakery…what would we do with our chef?”

AND THEN there’s a witty come-back: “IDK. maybe he can stand there and make change for the vending machine?”
With the closing statement: “Looks like coffee has a new best friend! Buy a Kit Kat bar with your coffee!”

So what’s my problem with this campaign? It’s the fact that this just reeks of pathetic. It sounds like they’re begging for you to buy their candy, and they feel like they need to latch onto something that just about everyone consumes (see coffee) because their product doesn’t have the legs to stand on its own as a viable product.

I imagine there was some marketing meeting and during it, some fat guy that eats candy for breakfast was dipping his Kit Kat into his coffee. Someone (that previously had nothing of value to add to the marketing meeting) noticed this and quipped “looks like your coffee has a new best friend!” to which everyone else in the room responded with copious amounts of laughter, because they’re all simple minded, and there you have it.

Well Kit Kat, your marketing campaign has had the opposite effect on me that you had hoped for. While I have always enjoyed you as a candy, I refuse to purchase you anymore because I don’t want to somehow be misconstrued in your statistics as an increase in sales during this campaign you are running. However, if you come up with a new marketing campaign that doesn’t revolve around you pathetically trying to force yourself into a market that you/nor any other candy belongs in (by the way, that should be noted…other candy bars do not try to pass themselves off as breakfast foods…you’re not being a pioneer here, Kit Kat, you’re being an idiot).

ps. i sometimes write about dumb shit...

originally posted on http://bleachedgraphics.com/blog/